If You Can’t Rest Without Guilt, Here’s Something For You

A note to the one who feels guilty when resting

They say rest is essential.
They say you deserve it.
They say it’s okay to take a break.

Yet, when you finally sit down, a wave of guilt washes over you.
Your mind races with thoughts of tasks left undone, responsibilities unmet, and the nagging feeling that you’re wasting time.

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I understand.

While I personally struggle more with the inability to truly rest — my body still, but my mind relentlessly active (for me, that’s when I get the most powerful bursts of productivity) — I recognize that for many, the act of resting itself is fraught with guilt.

As Salwa beautifully puts it in her piece,“Screw the Hustle — Take a Nap,”:

“No one tells you rest feels like a rebellion. Enough with seeking permission to pause.”

But I want to give you three reasons not to guilt yourself
(And one odd little thing I do to help my brain slow down too.)

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1. Rest isn’t the opposite of progress.

It’s part of it.

Even seeds need darkness and stillness to grow.
No one watches a tree in winter and says it’s lazy.
But we say that to ourselves all the time.

So the next time you pause, try telling yourself:
“This is part of the work too.”
Not a break from who I’m becoming — but a secret ingredient in it.

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2. You are not a machine.

The guilt usually comes from some inner factory manager voice:
“You’re behind.” “You’re wasting time.” “Other people are working harder.”

But you’re not a conveyor belt.
You’re a person.
You need rhythm, not pressure.

And guilt doesn’t make you productive — 
it just makes you tired in advance.

So instead, gently remind yourself:
“I’m allowed to be human today.”
Not optimized. Just human.

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3. Rest can be delicious, not dutiful.

It doesn’t have to feel like medicine.
It can feel like honey.

The trick is: choose something your body actually enjoys.
Not what someone else called “rest.”
Not what an app told you.

Some people need quiet.
Others need color. Or motion. Or stories. Or noodles.

You get to choose what restores you.
That’s not laziness. That’s wisdom.

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And here’s what I do when I can’t stop thinking, even when I want to rest:

Sometimes, when my thoughts are bouncing off the walls,
my dad taught me something he uses:

Follow your circulatory system.

Literally imagine your blood traveling
from your heart to your feet,
to your fingertips,
to your cheeks.

It’s kind of boring.
But also kind of calming.

It’s my shortcut into the present moment.
No productivity. Just a pulse.

Other times, I find something beautiful to fixate on instead:
A texture. A leaf. A line of music.

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If my mind must be busy,
let it be busy with something gentle.

Something that reminds me:
I’m alive.
And that’s enough for today.

And sometimes that just takes me away.

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So if you’re resting and guilt starts airing its opinion…

Here’s what I want you to remember:

I am not wasting time.
I am reclaiming it.

I am allowed to stop,
to exhale,
to just be.

Because I am not a machine.
I am a person.

A living, healing, growing human being.

And I am learning to grow strong enough
to break less.
Even if that means doing nothing at all for a while.

And I am choosing to believe
that I can come back softer,
and still win.

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With you,
Goldie